It’s been a while since i blogged something. But here’s the good news, i got happily married on the 10th Feb, 2017. Since then, i have been dealing with all the changes of my life. Looks like I’m counting the “First time” experiences and surprises that serve my way each day.
She cradled the baby,
through the night with a smile.
held her tiny nibbling fingers
And walked me through.
No sooner did she start to bawl,
when her mother spaced out of sight
into the silent darkness.
I have got lost in the crowds,
as time passed.
Now it’s turning tables.
I’m on my own.
How unfortunate that an event of wedding, makes a woman realize the endless love for her mother. And that love swells up after every hardship that she faces. I do miss her, in the silent sobs of the night. Only the pillow talks could hear the secret conversation.
After the day’s work, I quickly slipped into something more comfortable. My feet dragged itself to the window, and envisage the beauty of nature. The moment was perfect, my hands held a hot cup of caffeine that melted on my tongue sulking under the surreal ducking sunset.
My eyes glanced at the pile of things lying around my room. Well, they were strong enough to drag me into nostalgia. It was like bagging 26 years of memories into small boxes and suitcases. The breeze drifted me into thoughts that were never experienced, until now. I was overwhelmed and was left in awe with a parade of mixed emotions. All I could say then perhaps was, “I know, I have to leave. But I don’t wanna go.” It was indeed one of those rare days when my heart and mind wanted different things.
Then, I remembered the conversation I had with my mother months ago, “ why does a girl have to leave her home after marriage? The only answer I always got was, “it’s a tradition.” I was never really convinced about the answer but I now realize that it’s just a tradition to make you grow into a beautiful, strong and a real woman.
Here I’m married and moved in with my husband 3 days back. Life here is so different now, “That’s because I don’t have you here, maa. And I’m about to accelerate my horses on the runway to start a new adventure and my own journey.”
And here’s my journey………….
My eyes dread to open, at the morning sunshine. I have no more excuses left to snooze my alarms. The day starts, where I lean onto the kitchen platform. Rubbing my sleepy eyes and staring at the boiling milk and eggs.
As I come back to my senses, my brain starts to wheel out the innumerable activities lined for the day. It starts right from cooking meals to cleaning the house. I get to glide behind a maid to ensure a dust free and a clean environment. At times step out my lazy legs to shop veggies in the evenings and of course play with dogs. The look in their innocent eyes, makes me fall in love with them.
I switch onto the favorite music on my Bose speakers, just to lighten up the air. My feet take the flight, dancing along with the beats. I sing along to the familiar notes amongst the unfamiliar chores of cooking. In search of a feeling that erases the chaos of my mind and heart.
I slowly open the fridge for a sneak peek into the vegetable basket, to plan the menu for the day. I frantically pick the phone and give a call to my mom, “What do I cook? There’s nothing in the fridge.” She calms me down with her soothing words and gives me her recipes to cook.
The scribbled words I managed to pen down on the notepad, guide my movements across the kitchen. I carefully read & re-read to avoid goof- ups and start to chop the veggies, (oh! At times even my fingers . :P) and fry them in the pan. My hands reflect signs of an amateur cook. They look scrapped and choppy with cuts and burns all over them.
The delicacy gets prepared, But nothing in comparison to my mom’s food. Something is a miss, probably a special ingredient of mom’s special recipe. It takes me back to my home sweet home.
The toughest days are the days when I’m unwell and dragging my feet to make things work. That’s when I miss her elegant hands that move too and fro on my head. Her soft fingers tugs me inside the fresh soft blankets and makes me drift to sleep. And I could hear her say in my sleep, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.”
Somehow never realized till now that mom is the hardest working person in the family.They take care of minutest details only to ensure our routine flows without any hurdles. Yes, their world revolves around us “The family”.
And in this fast paced life, we really do forget to appreciate and adore small things in life.
Here’s a small thank you letter for making me what I’m today. I never appreciated the small things you did for me. But today I thank you for all the small things that you did for me & taught me with perseverance. Words are the only way I can express what you mean to me. Probably even fall short of them to pour my heart out.
Thank you maa for everything.
Your loving daughter