As the wikipedia defines “Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by a third party rather than by each other.”
I beg to differ slightly with the above statement. “It is a martial union where the bride / groom are subjected to multiple and extreme anguish to face many counterparts along with their respective parents under socially awkward scenarios and situations before they select the prince charming who sweeps them off the feet.”
Gone are the days where a girl dresses up like a semi bride, walks down the aisle and exhibits herself to the world like a mannequin. And bombarded with questions on her skill sets like cooking, singing, walking and talking; just to prove that she isn’t physically or mentally challenged. Rather also prove them that you sing, by entertaining them with a small singsong. It’s disappointing to see, such things still happen.
Would like to illustrate this with an example and suggest different categories of guys, where the girls should be aware of and take the right decision for her future.
It was a casual day at work for Ria. She joined her family for dinner. After minutes of chewing, Ria’s dad broke the silence. He looks at her intently and said “It’s time for you to get married”. A moment of shock wave passed through her spine as she heard this. The bummer being, the profile was already created on matrimonial sites without the girl’s consent.
Her thoughts rebel within her mind, in search of words. That’s when she realized like all normal girls, she has to detach from her 25 years of home, family, life, friends. This took her on a tizzy ride of emotions and thoughts.
There is so much to experience and accomplish in life. But her days passed on with the arguments due to the differential expectations between Ria and her family. Every person has different perception of looking at things.
Anywho, she went ahead and met different types of guys in search of her prince charming.
Categories of guys based on her conclusions:
1) Mr. Perfect & Orthodox family: It’s not just enough to find the right guy. Accepting the family is equally important i.e. thinking, understanding, lifestyle, habits, rituals etc.
2) Mr. Imperfect & family both orthodox: They are not to be blamed. It’s the society that resists change. It’s the society that judges you based on swim wear or any wear. We call it the herd mentality, “what will everyone say?” Who cares, what everyone thinks.
3) Brain Drain Scenes: People who want to settle down abroad due to opportunities and lifestyle. Anyone would love to settle down for a while majorly to satisfy travel passions and explore countries. But at the long run, we belong to our Indian roots. That’s an individual’s call.
4) Attitude for What?: Definitely passed out from great colleges like IIM, but we guess education dint help a few to gain a perspective. (Apologies’: not generalizing)
5) Wifey’s to stay unemployed: We women work for an individuality, and to be financially independent. And it’s not a myth; as per research “women are better than men at multitasking.” And not just destined to become a housewife.
6) Dowry or joke? It’s not even a fair barter system. They get the chick and the money.
What do we get for lifetime “Responsibilities”?. We all take a big stand against no dowry systems. We are human beings and no dolls to be sold in the market.
Hope this helps the girls out there to select a life partner.
PS: I have nothing against marriage, i.e. be it arranged or love. It’s the tormenting process one (along with the family) has to go through for selecting a life partner. The process of saying “No” to someone is as disheartening as to hear it ourselves. It sounds rude and dejected to others, but that leaves the girl / boy with no other option.